Once upon a time the first telephones were feared for invasion of privacy or that sounds from telephones could make you deaf or turn you mad! Initially seen as toys, telephones were soon seen to be vital for delivering messages quickly and assisting people in times of need. Rather than seeing the “doom and gloom” side of modern communications technology, I believe that we need to embrace it for the good that can be done, but be proactive in managing what goes wrong.
I’m not sure things are that much different. I recall when we were very young kids going into public phone boxes and trying to phone people without money, effectively producing a prank call as we couldn’t actually speak to them. So here is my confession – later as pre teens we did in fact make some prank calls – we thought it was funny at the time . We were kids, we were innocent and we didn’t think about the effect or possible consquences on the end that telling someone they had one a prize from the radio station could have. It was years later that I thought about it and felt regret that we probably had someone so excited and then crushed them by shouting April fool down the phone! Today’s children are not all that different, although possibly having access to phones at a much younger age and therefore even less likely to fully understand consequences. It is up to us to make sure we equip them with some degree of understanding before putting such a powerful instrument in their hands. It is not just the power of voice in their hands, but of word and pictures.
Personally I feel we have gone a little backwards in that mobile devices are again being seen as toys, when they are actually tools for both communication and learning. The rapid growth has allowed them to flourish and be so quickly adopted before we have had time to consider possible consequences. I believe that through education (particularly for parents) we can harness the good and minimise the bad.
Firstly it is important that we should not allow our children completely unrestricted use of devices. We need to ensure that we teach children how to respect these tools and that they demonstrate responsible use. One of the biggest ways we can do that is by modelling the behaviour ourselves.
For many children, particularly in the area of special needs; devices such as tablets and iPods provide much need stimulus and interest in learning. The screens are bright and for children who need consistency such as those with autism, they provide predictability and can be a wonderful way to engage these children. Through the use of iPads, iPods and tablet devices teachers are able to individualise learning plans and the child can learn at their own pace. For children (and adults) with fine motor skills impairment, a touch screen is much easier to use.
The list of benefits goes on: the devices are easy to carry and facilitate communication – the children can engage with their family at home and continue the learning experience. Often through these devices children are able to communicate, interact and participate where it was not possible before. This can enable “real” connection for the first time for autistic children.
For other children these tools are just another “layer” to the way they communicate. Texting and messaging is just part of life and sometimes allows them to say things they might otherwise not be able to communicate. Of course this can also mean sometimes they say things they shouldn’t say (but don’t they anyway?). Young children say what they see and what pops into their curious minds. It is up to us, as the enablers, to encourage children to learn good social media etiquette and take responsibility for what they put online. Children, particularly teens can be extremely sensitive to what they perceive and therefore we need to educate them to understand how to protect themselves. Parents must take a proactive role in this education.
We must ensure is that there is healthy balance between screen time and time spent with other learning materials and books, as well as putting good healthy habits into place. Ensuring there is time for play and outdoor activities and time without any devices is importance for health. A child should never have to feel “bored” in this day and age.
There are simple rules of use that parents and children (and schools) can develop to ensure we are making the most out of our devices and minimising any negatives or risks.
Top 7 tips from iRespectOnline:
- Agree on usage – when and where and time limits before allowing a child access to a mobile device. If rules are set from the beginning it is much more likely to become a habit. Make it a priority to have other “non device” activities planned.
- Set up privacy and security settings and remove access to downloading apps without parental permission. Disable or remove components which are not suitable for a particular stage of development or learning.
- Don’t allow the use of devices during meal times or right before bed.
- Don’t allow young children to use devices without supervision
- Check out reviews and investigate apps before downloading them.
- Get involved with your school and make sure that there is consistency between school usage policy and what you allow at home.
- Encourage open dialogue with children and be observant.
It is important to also consider whether your child is ready for a mobile phone and if you have many reservations and don’t really want them to have a phone then dont let them. Chapter 2.6 of my new book Futureproof Your Kids (www.futureproofyourkids.com) covers the issues you need to consider and be aware of in more detail. At iRespectOnline we have produced a mobile phone decision chart to help parents decide whether or not they should allow their child a phone.
Please join us on our facebook page at www.facebook.com/iRespectOnline , like our page to join the community and join in. We are always open to suggestions on topics of interest.
Fiona Lucas
Great post Fiona! Some really great tips here – even as adults I think we can do with restrictions on usage, switch off/unplug and plug into “life” regularly. I really like the idea of family time where everyone does that – and the adults have to as well!
Totally agree Donna and we will be building into our website connections with partners to help our readers get inspired to have adventures both on and off line as a family. It’s so important to engage one on one with our families and loved ones without giving our devices priority.
Dont give your CHILDREN, and that means teeens a smart phone. EASY PEESY
That solves all problems. It saves you money. It stops cheating at school. It stops plagiarism. Its improves grammar. It enables the children to learn empathy, that is putting themselves in someone elses shoes, and empathy is the highest human ability and it is learned through facial expression, eye to eye, heart to hear. It enables children to take more exercise. It creates time to read long books, complete paragraphs, complex sentences. Highly complex communication creates highly sophisticated societies. Tweets and reductive text dumbs society down. We are entering a new dark age of dumbed down, unsympathetic, unempathetic kids. We give them gadgets to seem cool or so we dont have to parent. We let them give away the control over their own futures by letting them have a facebook account.
Take away the smart phone. Give them a cheapo flip phone for emergencies. Dont let them give up their real identities online until they are adults.
You will love the results. You will have a person back. They will grow in confidence, health and mature intellectually and emotionally.
The answer is simple. But the push of gadget advertisements is too much. Parents just pay up and stand by and watch their children be diminished or even destroyed.
I think this generation will do a class action suit against Facebook for ruining their futures.
JUST SAY IT. NO SMARTPHONES UNTIL 18!
Hi Big,
Thanks for adding into the discussion. It’s really important that we look at all the angles, however I must state outright that I think banning anything just makes them more attractive, so education in the “smart” use of smartphones is something we should be encouraging. At 18 a young person is not necessarily any more mature in their behaviour and being given something without adequate education about it’s use is, still to me, like letting them drive before learning the road rules or giving them lessons behind the wheel. Wouldn’t you agree that it’s important to teach them how to use these pieces of technology?
I certainly agree that if you really are not comfortable with your child having a phone, then do not get them one. You have to be prepared to accept the responsibility as a parent for the use of the phone, but it’s something you need to then discuss openly with your child until you both have an understanding.
As to reading books, I absolutely agree as I despair that many children are not reading books which include complex sentences, however I do not think phones are the cause of this. The use of reductive text/grammer has been seeping into our society for some time, often through music. An article from the Ladies home Journal Philidephia in the 1900’s by John Elfreth Watkins Jr predicted that “certain letters would be eliminated from written English, because eventually an impatient society would come up with a more efficient way of typing that mimicked the sound of speech”!! Rather insightful! You can read a bit about him here. Personally I prefer to write messages in long hand, and the strange thing is, I find it is only particular age groups and demographics who tend to use the shortened text all the time, but perhaps we are the ones not moving on! The lack of grammatical skills is not the fault of smartphones, as our language has been diminishing long before they came along in my opinion.
An issues I think perhaps is generalised in your comment, is that not having a smartphone solves all problems! If only life were so easy. Bullying and teasing and the handing around of notes has been going on in schools possibly since the concept of bringing students together to learn was conceived (I don’t have any stats but certainly it has been going on for a long time). Having a flip phone does not stop texting, sexting and cyberbullying from occuring.
The internet is full of information and I’m curious why you think facebook is the root of all evil? Way before facebook we were all just trawling the net and could be exposed to anything. I personally think that despite it having many flaws, facebook is still one of the more safer places to be online, rather than in some gaming chat room, however it is also not a place for young children. The rules say over 13 and it is parents who allow their children to connect there sooner, often because they just don’t understand what it’s about. There are much more confronting sites online. Tumblr for example- which is a popular blogging site for young people has much adult content and very extreme views, so more of a risk to the very young, but it is very hard to stop people lying about their age to join any site.
Big, you talk about “parents standing by watching” but I think you will find there are many parents who are very concerned, and certainly I wrote my book to address some of the concerns I have identified through my research. It is vital for example that our children understand how much is just opinion and not fact online (our discussion here for examnple) so they need to research and form their own opinion, not just accept the first thing they read. The issues begin long before the child has a phone in their hand.
The issues around empathy for example are very real concern to me, and disengagement from society is part of the cause, but not facebook and phones, it is much deeper. Think about how many families eat fast food, or make quick meals before dashing off to the next engagement or activity? The television is usually on and meals often eaten in front of it. We no longer respect privacy when it comes to accidents or war, we show all the details, so our children are being numbed by constantly being exposed to negative and frightening stories on the news. Media to me as a whole has a lot to answer for. We no longer have sophistcated news but a “page three” mentality where everything has to be exaggerated and hyped up to attract attention. I so wish that taking phones away would solve all problems, but I have to say I do not believe it.
Great tips in here Fiona.
I am all for switching off to enable recharging the batteries and enjoying some family time. In regards to Big’s views; I know a few 50+ year olds who shouldn’t be on social media or have the use of a smartphone. Education is always the key, regardless of age. We all mature at different speeds, some never! Parents need to embrace and learn how to manage change in order to help and prepare their children for the times we are living in now. I could go on and on but in reality we are all of differing opinions. I enjoyed your post and even more the points you raised in your reply to Big.